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PLUMBING THE DEATH STAR

March 23

Why isn't Nightcrawler Fat?

In which our heroes open the fridge, consider exercise, and decide teleportation is much easier. We discuss Joel Duscher’s patented Mutant Bird Theory, the X-Mansion patented Food-Ball, and how unlike a school Xavier's School for Gifted Students really is. Jackson can't imagine Scott Summers stopping in for a sneaky Maccas run, Zammit discovers he smoked cigarettes wrong, and Duscher decides to educate the gang on the nature of antibiotics. So turn the Danger Room into a gym, pluck an apple from Xavier’s orchard, and try not to turn your mutant powers into a crutch. It’s time to save the world and there’s no short cuts when the stakes are this high.

SHUT UP A SECOND

March 26

Cheesy Action Movies

In which our heroes brace for impact, work on their catch phrases, fail to do cool-guy walks away from explosions and discuss cheesy action movies. We look at Whoopi Goldberg’s secret history with dinosaurs cops, the best 80s theme song and why anyone would use a hang-glider as a getaway vehicle. Jackson wants to know why bus drivers in real life never look like Sandra Bullock, Zoe ponders how effective segways would be in a chase sequence and special guest Nick Capper just wants a therapy sheep. So join the gang as they try desperately to reload their weapons in slow motion and refuse to work with anyone but Marlon Brando or the best chimp alternative. It’s loud, filled with cliches and you can bet there’ll be at least one montage.